Free from Fate
by light4dawn
Summary: What if Leah had a chance at love again? Would she take the leap? How would her feelings for Sam resolve if things changed after many years. Would her love for him still be the same? This is an out-take/future-take from Every Rose Has Its Thorn; however, it stands on it's own. There is no need to read the other story to understand everything in this one. Leah/Sam, Leah/OC


_Thank you so much, JaspersDestiny for beta'ing this story, even though I sort of, kind of, bent the rules to get to you. She's such a nice girl in the guise of a "wordy bitch"._

_There is also a dedication for this story. I wrote it for dontcallmeLeeLee who has made me two banners and offered up two more as prizes for the Jacob/Bella contest I hosted last month. The story banners she created for the winners were so beautiful, and the contest was a huge success!_

_Now, on to the story._

* * *

**Free from Fate**

_This takes place in the universe of Every Rose Has Its Thorn, after the conclusion of that story; however, there is no need to be familiar with it to appreciate this one. Everything you need to know is written right here._

_June 2015_

"So, let me get this straight, if I meet him now I won't imprint on him? I'll be a normal chick meeting a normal guy?"

"I'm not sure you'd be considered 'normal', but yeah, you won't imprint. That is…as long as you haven't started to…_you know_."

Okay, the kid _was_ seventeen. I suppose I didn't need to bug him about not being able to say the word _menstruate_.

"I haven't yet, but who knows how long that'll last? What if it happens while I'm talking to him?"

"Er…don't you get some warning?"

"Not always. Besides, it's been so long now, who the hell knows? Technically, a cycle begins before…_you know_, when a girl ovulates." Shit, now the kid had _me_ tiptoeing around a damn word. What was it about him? Was it because he was Sam's long lost kid brother? Maybe I just missed having a younger brother around. I knew it wasn't a coincidence that I started hanging around Josh soon after Seth moved to New York.

"You _could_ phase before meeting him. That'll probably buy you months."

"Yeah, but for all we know, I might end up with ten years!" Damn, he looked defeated. "Shit, I'm glad we have you, Josh. It's great that you're our very own imprint shaman, but it'd be nice if we also had a get-my-fucking-body-back-to-normal-on-my-schedule shaman too!"

"Sorry, Leah, wish my abilities were more useful."

"I was joking, and you're abilities are plenty useful! It was a good idea, really." He was smiling again. "Why don't you tell me what you know about him. It's been a long time, and I forgot a lot of it." Actually, I hadn't forgotten a single word, but I wanted to make him feel useful, which he was.

Without Josh, all this imprinting crap would have still been mystical voodoo to us. Now we all knew if we were going to imprint or not, and on whom. It was up to us if we wanted to seek our imprints out or avoid them. I was convinced I'd take the latter route, but after some thought, I decided it couldn't hurt to meet the guy. The fact that I couldn't imprint on him until my body was back to normal was the only reason I considered it.

"You're _really_ going to meet him? This is going to be epic! You'll be the first wolf _ever_ to meet her imprint without imprinting!" When he got excited like that, he looked a lot like Sam used to, about a million years ago. "Okay, so his name's How–"

"_That_, I know! Fuck, of all the names…"

"It could've been worse…"

"Not much. Go ahead, I'll behave."

"Okay, well, Howard's got a pretty regular schedule most days. He lives alone, and he has a pet cat."

"Seriously? Are you _sure_ he's my imprint? How the hell is some guy named _Howard,_ living with a damn cat, my soul mate?" There _had_ to be a mistake. Either the kid couldn't see my imprint like all the others or I was never meant to have one in the first place. None of the other guys imprinted on duds… Okay, there _was_ Quil. I guess _Howard_ was better than a kid.

After more talking, and some snooping around on the Internet, we had a work address for _Howard_. (Not even a decent nickname for that!) Josh had a routine he followed on most days, and I had already taken some vacation time. All that was left was to go on the trip.

Vancouver was close enough that I could drive, which was nice, but I was scared. What I was afraid of was beyond me. I knew I wouldn't imprint on him, and this was my opportunity to find out if I liked him without all the hocus pocus shit clouding my judgment. In all, it seemed like the perfect situation, better than what the guys had. _I_ actually had a say in whether or not I _wanted_ to imprint _after_ getting to know him.

"Hey, Josh, you done school for the year?" What was I doing? Even if he _could_ go with me, what kind of excuse was I going to come up with for taking a trip with a seventeen-year-old kid?

"Yeah, wrote my last exam over a week ago. I haven't found a job, though, which is a bummer. Sam offered to pay me to do some work around the house, but I wouldn't let him. Shit, I live there too! It's only fair that I pull my weight! Why do you ask?"

"Oh, you know, making conversation."

He wasn't fooled. The kid was smart. Not _just_ smart, but observant too.

"We were in the middle of a conversation about your future imprint and all of a sudden you want to know if my summer vacation's started?"

"What! I can't make friendly conversation with my favorite high school student?"

"I don't mind coming along with you, Leah." No guy—not even Sam—had been able to read me that easily, not without direct access to my mind anyway. "In fact, I'd like to go to Vancouver and meet Howard."

"It _would_ be nice to have someone with me, but I don't think Sam will let you go."

"You think he's going to say no to _you_?"

"Why wouldn't he? He's not afraid of me, Josh."

"Whatever. Let's go ask now. He should be home from work." Josh grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the chair.

The last place I wanted to be was at Sam and Emily's, but it was only fair I ask. This trip was all about me after all.

Josh liked Sam, and he was a good guardian to him, as those things go, but Sam had issues with letting him stray far. Sure, he had his reasons, what with Josh having been a prisoner to the Volturi for two years, but the kid was seventeen, all the parasites were in hiding now, and I had yet to meet a werewolf who couldn't take care of himself.

It was a short walk from my mother's place to Sam and Emily's, and having Josh with me made the journey less arduous. As much as the long-standing discomfort had faded, it was far from gone. In fact, of late, things had gotten worse.

Whenever Sam was around, I'd noticed his eyes following my every move. He was careful to do this when he thought I wasn't looking, but I still had most of my wolf senses, and detecting unwanted observers had been my niche. I used to perseverate over this, going over all the reasons why he might be doing it. Did he feel I was the only thing preventing him and Emily from having a perfect life? Had Emily poisoned him with accusations against me, no longer wanting her husband's long time and still hung-up-over-him ex-girlfriend around creating tension?

For weeks, it drove me crazy. Then, I concluded that whatever it was, Sam didn't _want_ me to know. The way I looked at it, I had two choices: I could either confront him or go on pretending I didn't notice. The latter seemed easier. We had both become experts at pretending not to notice each other.

"Leah, it's nice to see you. Seems like forever since you've been here. Were you walking Josh home?" She looked worse than usual. Not much of Emily's hair had grown back since her chemo, and the fatigue of taking care of a one-year-old right after treatment had taken its toll. Her clothes were rumpled and baggy, her skin rough and dry from neglect, and dark circles stained her already marred face.

"The kid's seventeen, Em—he doesn't need an escort. I came because we have something to ask Sam." She got that stupid, hurt look on her face. Ever since we had stopped phasing, and the dangers looming over us had more or less disappeared, she expected to be involved in everything Sam was a part of. As far as Emily was concerned, nothing was "pack business" anymore. Wasn't it enough that she had taken my guy without exerting any effort? Did she have to deny me the opportunity to have an excruciatingly uncomfortable conversation with him in private?

"You _both_ have something to ask him?"

"Yes." I wasn't giving her anything. She had enough of what was mine. Her eyes moved away from me, hoping to get answers from Josh, but he had already raced into the house. Smart kid.

"What could _both_ of you need to ask of him?"

"Don't you have a kid to feed or laundry to do?"

She ignored my questions.

"Sam's out back doing yard work. I'll walk you there."

"Don't leave the baby alone in the house—I know where your yard is, and I wouldn't want the kid to choke on his own vomit or something." I never used the baby's name.

She gave me what was supposed to be a glare, but it came out as a contorted grimace, and then she stomped into the house.

Josh was already in the yard helping Sam with the weeding by the time I got there.

"Here she is now, Sam!" Josh ran over, all smiles. His vivid green eyes glistened in the sunlight, making him look younger than he already was.

"Hey."

"Hey."

Well, at least we were speaking.

He avoided my eyes, instead looking over my shoulder at a pile of dead branches I had just passed.

"I was wondering if Josh could come along on a road trip with me. Won't cost him anything—I'll foot the bill."

"Where to?" Huh—he didn't ask why. Guess he _really_ didn't want to talk to me.

"Vancouver."

"He doesn't have a passport."

"What about the forged one the Cullens gave him last year?"

"I'm not sure it's right to use that."

"Then we can use his license and birth certificate. It's only Canada, and we're driving."

"I'll have to write him a note since he's a minor."

"Whatever."

"How long?"

"Thinking of leaving tomorrow and coming back next weekend. My vacation time's over then."

"Okay, I'll send him to your place in the morning, packed and with the note."

He smiled at me—_really_ smiled, not a forced one. It was a Sam-the-guy-who-was-my-boyfriend smile! What was up with _that_? And why hadn't he given me the third degree? Everyone else got the riot act if they wanted to take the kid more than ten miles away!

"That's it?"

"Did you have something else you wanted ask?"

"You're not going to tell me to be careful and list all the hazards in Canada?"

"No."

"Why not, why am I any different?" This had better not be because I was a girl.

"I trust you, Lee."

"Ah."

"What?"

"Ah. Lee-_ah_. That's my name." He wasn't allowed to call me that anymore. He had lost all rights to it years ago.

"Sorry." His eyes were red. Why were they red? Did he have hay fever? Could a wolf _have_ hay fever?

"You should be."

I turned my back to him and walked out of the yard as fast as I could without running.

As promised, the next morning Josh showed up on my doorstep in Port Angeles, packed and with documents in hand. Sam didn't get out of the car. He waited until I answered the door and then gunned it out of the driveway.

"Sorry about Sam. He's had a lot on his mind lately, and–"

"You don't have to make excuses for him."

"I'm not! Seriously! I don't want you to take it personally because he'd be really upset with himself if he thought he said anything to make you feel bad."

"There's nothing he can say that I'd give a shit about."

"Well, don't be mad at him… He's a good guy."

"I'm not mad at him. I told you, he does nothing to me. Look, I know he's your brother–"

"He's more than a brother. Sam's the only family I have."

Shit. The kid was getting that fucking sad look again, the one that made Sam yell at us for whatever it was we did or said to remind him of his captivity.

"Hey, nothing's changed. You know me—I'm bitchy to everyone. Come on, let's go. I don't want to miss the ferry and end up waiting around."

The drive went well. Josh was always nice to have around, but today he was happier than usual. He hadn't had too many opportunities to go anywhere, so it was an experience for him. He had pages and pages of tourist information for Vancouver, along with every minute detail he could find on Howard.

"Did Sam ask you why we were going to Vancouver?" I asked.

"Yeah, after you left."

"What did you tell him?"

"The truth."

My initial worry gave way to indifference—at least as much indifference as I was capable of where he was concerned. What did it matter? There was nothing Sam could do with the information.

"Did he say anything?"

"Not much."

Normally, the kid never gave up an opportunity to talk about people, especially Sam. This time, though, he seemed to be going out of his way to give me the bare minimum about his conversation with his half-brother.

"And by 'not much' you mean…?"

"I told him your imprint lives in Vancouver and that you wanted to check him out. What's he supposed to say to that?"

What was he supposed to say? I could think of a _thousand_ things he'd want to say! Josh didn't lie, at least not to me. Wasn't Sam curious to know _anything_ about my imprint? Perhaps how he looked, what he did…shit, maybe even his fucking first name, which actually would have been an interesting thing to find out! I was that much of a non-entity to him—such a faded nothing that I didn't even warrant idle curiosity. Did Josh know what this meant too? He had strangely replied to me, with a hint of bitter irritation in his voice. I looked over at him, to ask if there was more, but his attention was elsewhere. Josh was looking out the window wistfully, like he felt badly about something. Had the kid done something wrong? I couldn't imagine Sam getting him in trouble for anything.

"You all right, Josh?"

"Hmm…?" He turned his head and looked at me. "Sam's kind of sad right now, Leah. It might help if you were nice to him, you know, extra patient."

Where the hell had that come from?

"Uh…okay. I'll get on that." Not likely. Again, he stared out his window. "What's got him so down?" Maybe he had lost his job, in which case I suppose I _could_ be a little sympathetic.

"Regular married people stuff." What would _that_ be? Sam and Emily were _not_ "regular" married people!

"What kind of 'stuff' are you talking about?"

"Nothing big. The baby's a lot of work, and Emily's had a tough time, what with the cancer and not being able to have more children. Sam's gotten…used to doing things on his own." The kid was telling me more than he intended to, but not nearly as much as he wanted to. He was leading me, trying to make me guess. What the fucking hell was happening at the Uley house?

"Spit it out, Josh. I can guess, and during this four-hour car ride it's likely I'll eventually guess correctly, but I'd prefer not to spend the entire trip talking about Sam."

"He's not so happy about things."

"Way to bring clarity to a situation."

"He's not as in love as he used to be." No kidding. He had probably forgotten all about me years ago.

"I already knew that."

"You did?"

"He imprinted! I know he felt sorry for me for years, but it wasn't like he was in love with me the way he used to be. We shared thoughts, remember?"

"I wasn't talking about you."

"Then who…Emily?" Josh nodded. "But he can't… He imprinted on her!" Why was I upset about this? Wasn't this what I had fantasized about?

"It was because she became barren."

"Pardon me?"

"Turns out imprinting's all about making more wolves, and if the imprint can't have kids, the bond breaks."

"Why the _hell_ are you encouraging me to find fucking _Howard_ if you know this? Why did you sit around saying nothing when Collin went out to find his? Is this why Embry stopped looking for that girl?"

"I didn't know back before Collin imprinted! We only found out when it happened to Sam, and Embry found out just after I did."

"What about me? You didn't explain why you're sitting here as I drive to meet some guy that's going to dump me once I hit menopause!"

"You wouldn't be the imprint, he would, and guys theoretically have the ability to have kids until they die."

"Great. Theoretically."

"And you're a girl, so it'd probably work differently for you."

"That means Paul, Jared…the rest…are all going to… We have to tell the girls! It's not fair to keep this from them. They should have options while they're still young!"

"Sam thinks it won't be as bad for them."

"Why the hell not? Does he think he has the market share on pain?"

"Because none of those guys know what it feels like to be in love with no imprinting involved. And Sam doesn't _hate_ Emily… It's just not the same as it used to be—like it was with you."

Like it was with me…

"What are you saying, Josh?"

"That's he's in love with you, _really_ in love. I was in his head a little while after it happened. We phased in hopes that it would help me understand better. Anyhow, I think it's gotten worse, and even back then, Sam had already become crazy from being in love with you."

"Why are you telling me this, and what does this have to do with… _Shit_!"

"Yeah, that's why he's kind of cranky about you meeting Howard."

"It's not like we can get back together again! He's married and has a kid—with my cousin! Wait, does Emily know?"

"No. No one has the heart to tell her, and what good would it do?"

"Are you telling me all this because Sam wanted you to talk me out of it?"

"No. He didn't want me to say anything to you at all. Sam thought you deserved to be happy, not burdened with his baggage."

"So you're defying him by telling me?"

"I guess so."

"And the reason for that is?"

"I didn't think it'd be fair for you _not_ to know. You're about to meet some guy that you might end up supernaturally bound to, if you decide you really like him. That's not something you can take back. What if you would've never done it if you'd known about Sam? How fair would that be?"

It was a lot to digest. If I were alone, I would have pulled over to the side of the road, curled up in a ball, and cried until someone came to tow my car away. As it was, I wasn't alone, I had a minor under my care, and we had an agenda.

The rest of the drive was more relaxed, with no secrets between us. Surprisingly, the new knowledge, as distressing as it was, didn't dampen our mood. Perhaps I felt the need to be on my best behavior for my surrogate brother, with the realization that my unrequited feelings for Sam were no longer one-sided. Whatever it was, it gave our trip more purpose.

We got into Vancouver in the early afternoon, where we checked into our hotel, cleaned up, and headed out. After a couple of hours of shopping and sight-seeing along Robson Street, I became irritable, impatient to meet my imprint, but I didn't want to ruin Josh's first vacation.

"What did you want to do tonight—visit Stanley Park?" Josh had been going on and on during our drive about the places he wanted to see once we got here. As anxious as I was to meet Howard, it was important to me that Josh had a good time.

"Today's Monday, which means it's Howard's surgical day, if everything's running as usual. Why don't we head to the hospital and you can scope him out! I bet his day's about to end soon."

I felt like a stalker.

"How the hell do you…? You know what, forget it, it doesn't matter how you know. Okay, let's go." I thought briefly about changing but decided against it. If he couldn't handle rumpled walking clothes, then he wasn't the guy for me.

Josh had directions printed out for the hospital Howard (I will _never_ get used to that name!) worked at. The drive was short and filled with teasing and joking around. In all the excitement, it never occurred to me to plan out exactly what we'd do once we got there.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" I complained while easing into a parking spot. "Am I supposed to pretend to be sick?" Josh laughed loudly. "What's so funny?" I braced myself for whatever vital information he had decided to keep from me this time.

"He's…a…ur…ol…o…gist!" The kid was barely able to spit the words out through his laughter.

What the…? Howard was the worst name a guy could have, curling—his recreational activity of choice—was only arguably a real sport, but urologist? Really? The guy spent his days examining dicks?

"All right, you are in _big_ shit! That was information you needed to share about six hours ago!"

"He's a doctor—a surgeon, to boot! Most girls would be ecstatic to have a guy like that!"

"First of all, I am not 'most girls'. Second, being a urologist is yet another smear on the ever-growing list of reasons why he is _so_ the wrong guy for me!"

"Why, have you _known_ a lot of urologists? And if you have, are they all alike?"

"No, I haven't known a lot of urologists." Actually, I'd never met a single one. "And I don't care if they're all alike because I have no need for one!"

"You know, compared to a lot of other specialties, they keep decent hours and bring in good money. I mean, not the _most_, but better than a lot of other doctors."

"And you know this because…?"

"The Internet." He smiled smugly. It might have been the first time I'd seen those innocent green eyes gleam with smug satisfaction. "Canada's health system's publicly funded. If you know where to look, there's a lot of information available. You'll be happy to know that Howard's never had disciplinary action imposed upon him."

"Great. Nice to know he's not a _proven_ pervert."

"Look, we're here already. You might as well take a look at him."

"Fine! Lead the way…" Surprisingly, we didn't head into the building. Instead, Josh led us into another parking garage. "Where are you taking us? The car's parked over there." I pointed in the opposite direction.

"This is the way to the staff parking area. I have the make, model, color, and license plate for his car. You're going to wait close to it, and when he arrives, pretend you can't remember where you parked your car, okay?"

It sounded like a reasonable plan.

"Sure. Let me help you look—what's he drive?"

_Please God, don't let it be a station wagon..._ I thought.

"Black BMW."

"You're going to have to be more specific." As the sign read, this was the medical staff parking lot. Black BMWs weren't exactly rare…

"It's a 2012 BMW M3. I can give you the license plate, but basically, it's sportier and has–"

"I know _exactly_ what they look like. I used to share a brain with Jake, remember?" I tapped my head with my finger. "It's like an archive for _Car and Driver_ in here." At least Howard had good taste in cars and drove them a few years before discarding them like dirty laundry. "Coupe or convertible?"

"Coupe."

I only had to walk over to the next aisle before I spotted it.

"I think I've found it. Does the license plate begin with CRL…" I read the rest in my head and was stunned into silence. It didn't last long, though. "Fuck!" I shouted. _Now_ I knew why Josh hadn't mentioned the plate number. CRLNGDR. It made him sound like a hairdresser! That is, until you found out he was a urologist, and then God only knew what people imagined! It was a good thing Josh had come with me because if I had discovered this on my own, there was _no way_ I'd stick around. Couldn't the guy just play golf?

"Excuse, me, miss? Can I help you?" I must have been pretty preoccupied because it had been a long time since I'd been taken by surprise.

I turned and came face to face with a damn good-looking guy. He was tall, well over six feet, and built. If he were Quileute, he would have fit right in with the pack.

"Oh, uh…sorry, didn't mean to shout…" Wait, was he _him_? He fit the description Josh had given. "I, uh…I can't seem to find my car."

"Yeah, this parking area can be a little confusing, especially since many of the cars look similar. I'm Howard Kennedy, Urology." He held his hand out. Like the imbecile I was, I stared at it too long before shaking it. What the hell was wrong with me? Had I already imprinted on the guy?

"Hi, I'm…" Who the hell _was_ I? "I'm Lee." Great. Of all the names… Okay, I _hadn't_ imprinted. I wasn't about to fall on my knees and forget the whole goddamn world for this guy because I still cared that I had used _that_ name.

"Are you new?" he asked.

"Huh?" Where the _hell_ was Josh?

"New to the hospital. I don't see too many people outside the O.R. and the clinic but…"

"Oh, no, I…" Wait, what was I supposed to say? Why would I be in _this_ parking garage if I didn't work here? "I'm filling in for someone…you know, a temp."

"Oh, so you're not here permanently?" I shook my head. He looked disappointed. I felt self-conscious. I reached for my hair, trying to comb through it subtly with my fingers. Why hadn't I changed before coming here? "What department are you working in?"

Crap! Mom was right—one lie _did_ always lead to another. "I'm…uh…" Where would he never go? "I'm in the breast-feeding clinic." Please, let there be a breast-feeding clinic in this hospital! "I'm a nurse." Mom was a nurse, so _that_ I could fake for a little while.

"Can I help you find your car?"

"Uh, sure."

"What do you drive?"

_Mom, I will never doubt anything you say again._

"It's…a…well…"

"I know we just met, but maybe I can drive you around the garage, and you can look out for it? That might be faster."

"Sure, if you don't mind…"

"Not at all. I don't have to be anywhere right now." He reached past me and opened the passenger side door. "This is my car you were cursing, by the way." His smile was mesmerizing. Was I turning into a goddamn teenager again?

I got in and said, "I wasn't cursing the car, per se, just the fact that it wasn't mine." He smiled again, closed the door, and jogged around to the driver's side.

"Oh, do you drive an M3 as well?"

"Uh…no, I…uh…just picked any random car to curse at." At this point, even if I _did_ like him, which I guess I did, I wasn't sure he'd think I was sane, never mind girlfriend material.

"Well, let's see if we can find your car."

He drove us through the entire parking garage three times. The guy had all the patience in the world, and he kept a nice flow of conversation going—which was no easy feat with the world's most tongue-tied girl sitting next to him—but stayed away from anything too personal.

"I don't understand how it could disappear like that…" I muttered. I hoped to hell Josh was going to appear soon because I had no freaking idea what I was supposed to do next.

"Maybe we should call the police. It could've been stolen. You know, car theft is all too common in the city."

Great. _Okay, Leah, think of something!_ The last thing I needed was a bunch of Mounties hunting down my not-so-missing car.

"There!" I pointed at my car as it turned the corner with Josh driving it.

"Where? Which one?"

"The red Corolla."

"The one that's _moving_? Who's driving it?"

"Uh…my brother." Shit, we were too far away for a normal person to see that much detail! "It _looks_ like him anyway."

_I am so sorry, Mom, for all the times I've ever said you knew nothing._

"Your brother's driving your car? I thought it was parked while you were at work?"

"It was…" Josh would be able to hear the conversation from this distance. The little brat had gotten me in this mess; he was damn well going to find a way to get me out of it. "I have no idea what he's doing with it! Wait till I get my hands on the little pip-squeak!"

The moment Howard's car slowed down enough, I whipped the door open and stormed out of the car. I didn't have to try to look pissed.

"Josh, what the hell are you doing with my car? Do you know how much time I've spent looking for it?"

"Sorry, sis." Good, he had heard and knew the backstory. "Something came up, and I needed a car. Yours was the only one I had access to."

"How the hell did you expect me to get home? And why didn't you leave me a message so I wouldn't think it was stolen or something?" Josh glared at me. Guess he hadn't expected to adlib quite _that_ much.

"I thought I'd be back in plenty of time, but I couldn't get inside the garage without an ID badge." Shit, the kid was good. Must have gotten it from his mother's side because Sam was shit when it came to deception.

"You're in so much shit!" Yeah, I was shouting, but I had nothing more to say, and it didn't seem right to stand in silence at this point.

"Hey, Lee, the kid didn't mean anything by it, and you've got your car back." Howard approached from behind me. His hand stretched out towards Josh. "Hi, I'm Howard Kennedy. I work here, too, and I was helping your sister look for her car."

"Hi, I'm Josh, her disobedient brother." He gave Howard a winning smile and shook his hand. "That was nice of you to drive her around. She didn't nag you the whole time, did she? Lee can be a real pain in the ass sometimes."

The two of them chuckled, and I took this opportunity to whack Josh on the head.

"Hey, I'm a developing boy! That could have caused brain damage!"

"You have to _have_ a brain to damage it, squirt."

Josh looked at his watch and scowled. _Now_ what was he up to? He was muttering under his breath very quietly—so quietly that only I heard what he said.

"Ask me if I got dinner." What the hell? Were we roommates now?

"Hey, did you get dinner?"

"Shit! I forgot… Can we eat out? I mean, this is supposed to be sort of a vacation too."

"Oh, you're visiting? Have you had a chance to try a lot of restaurants?" Howard asked.

"Nah… Lee's been busy, and I've been kind of scraping things together. Why, you got a recommendation for us?"

"Well, there are so many great places… What were you looking for—Sushi, Indian, Fusion? We've got everything here!"

"I don't know, what do you feel like, Lee?" Fuck! Now I was stuck listening to that name for God only knew how long! I rolled my eyes and shrugged my shoulders. "Hey, Howard, you busy?" No! Shit, the damn kid was going to make me look desperate or something!

"Uh…not really." Well, at least the guy was smiling and looking at the kid, not me.

"Why don't you come out with us? Lee owes you a drink, at least, for driving her around the parking garage. Don't you think so, Lee?"

"Yeah, sure," I replied through clenched teeth.

"You guys want to follow me?" Howard asked.

"Sure, I can follow, but why don't you take Lee with you? I don't feel like getting lectured while driving in an unfamiliar city." Before anyone could reply, Josh went into my car and started up the engine. Howard looked over at me, blushing. I shrugged, opened the passenger side door of his car, and climbed in. No reason why I couldn't enjoy the ride.

The ride began in silence, mostly because I was still miffed that Josh had abandoned me, but the bad mood lifted quickly. I couldn't say how or exactly when it happened. Howard began flipping through radio stations, asking me what I liked to listen to, and then, before I knew it, I knew his age, the basic rules for curling, where he'd traveled to, and how many siblings, nieces, and nephews he had.

Dinner was even better. Josh was a nice cushion, ensuring it didn't seem like I was out on a date with a stranger. I mean, really, if I sat and thought about it, the situation _was_ odd. I had known this guy for twenty minutes before inviting him to dinner. Well, technically, Josh had asked, I suppose.

All in all, it was a pleasant evening. Howard tried to pay the bill, but I wouldn't have any of that. I allowed him to pay his share, minus one beer, and then we parted ways.

Oh yeah, he asked for my number. I told him I lived in Washington State, but he didn't seem to care. I also noticed he didn't ask what I was doing temping in Canada. I gave him my cell number, and he gave me his. He seemed harmless enough. Really, the guy's name was _Howard_!

Josh and I fiddled with our water glasses, waiting for Howard to leave the restaurant.

"So…? He seemed pretty cool, huh?"

"He was okay, for a guy named Howard."

"Will you stop with the name? It wasn't something he chose, you know!"

"Yeah, yeah."

"Did you think he was good looking? What did you guys talk about on the way over, or is it private?"

"For Christ's sake! I only just met him! There's nothing 'private' between us! And yes, he's all right looking…you know, if you like the tall, dark, and muscular type." I slipped Josh a smile. He did well in the end, and I could imagine getting to know Howard better, but I wasn't ready to admit that much to anyone, yet.

"Are you going to call him tomorrow?"

"No!" I rolled my eyes. "How moronically desperate would that look? Besides, if I want to pursue this, I need to think about how I'm going to explain away all these lies. He's bound to find out I'm not a nurse…"

"I think he already knows that, Leah."

"What do you mean?"

"You didn't notice?"

"Notice what?" I raised an eyebrow and shot him a suspicious look.

"When you made that comment about being a nurse or something."

"I was put on the spot! Why?"

"Howard winked at me when you said 'nurse'."

"He did?" Why hadn't I noticed? Oh…that might have been the moment when I had to look away because he caught me staring at his chest. Every ripple of muscle was visible through his thin t-shirt…

"Yeah… I think he picked up on it as soon as you said we were from the States. He kind of raised his eyebrows and made this confused 'I'm thinking' sort of face."

"How do you pick all this shit up? I thought _I_ was the best at that!" I _used_ to be the best at it, but I only had the rest of the guys to compare myself to, and admittedly, they were all daft.

"I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what was happening around me because no one told me anything, or even acknowledged I was human."

Fuck. This was why Sam always lectured us. I had inadvertently taken Josh back to his two years of captivity.

"Hey, they're all dust now, remember?"

"Yeah, sorry, didn't mean to put a downer on things."

"Downer? I'm not down! If you'd pick yourself up off the floor now, I'd be flying, promise! I'll even smile the next time you say Howard, and trust me, that is no easy feat!"

Josh's eyes gleamed and he smiled. "Howard's a smart guy." I remembered to smile. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. "He picks up on your cues pretty well. You should call him."

"And I will, just not right away."

"You know, I don't think you need to play hard to get or anything with him. He seems fairly straightforward."

"Doesn't matter, I'm not calling until we get back home."

"Fine." Josh crossed his arms and made a pouty face.

The rest of our stay in Vancouver was pleasant. We visited some of the sights, and Howard ended up calling me the next day. Even though Josh offered, Howard wouldn't accept going anywhere with me if Josh weren't there. He said it wasn't right to leave a young teenage boy alone in a hotel room in a strange city.

Our second time together wasn't until the Saturday, but it was even better than the first. We went to the pier, and he took us out in his sailboat. The guy owned a sailboat! It was a glorious day. The sun shone, a refreshing breeze filled the sails, and the ocean sparkled. I could have sat out on that boat forever!

Howard taught us a few things too, so we could help out with the sails and things. I learned that having novices on a small sailboat meant people would inevitably get hit on the head, which was what happened to each of us at least once.

Once we got the hang of it, and we were far out at sea, floating lazily, I lay on the deck drinking in the sun's rays, knowing Howard was watching me.

"Lee?"

"Mmm hmm?"

"I'm not going to ask because I know you'll tell me when you're ready, but I wanted to let you know that I know you're not a nurse, and you weren't in that parking garage looking for your car, so you can stop lying about it."

"I don't know what you're talking about." What else could I say? I had to go along with the story or end up looking like a crazed stalker.

"I said it was okay. Maybe I'm crazy, but I get the feeling you didn't seek me out to do me harm."

"What makes you think I sought you out? A little self-absorbed, are we?"

"I'm not an idiot."

"Never said you were."

"Then stop denying what we both know."

"Fine. But I'm not admitting anything either!"

"Okay."

Was that a fight we just had?

"We're leaving tomorrow," I blurted out.

"I know."

"How the hell do you know that?" Was the guy a mind reader? Shit, that _was_ actually possible. He wouldn't be the first one I'd known…

"Josh told me." Okay, no mind reading, thank God!

"Oh."

"I'd like to see you again."

"I live kind of far away."

"Not that far."

"I only get two weeks' vacation a year."

"I get as many as I want to take."

"We barely know each other."

"That would be the reason why I'd like to see you again."

"It seems kind of silly to have to go through all the expense and trouble of coming down to Washington State for a date. Can't you get a date here?"

"Already did that, many times. It seems I may have exhausted my pool here." Howard smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

"You don't find this whole thing kind of creepy?" I asked.

Again, he shrugged. "It's all a matter of perspective."

"I can't see any 'perspective' where I _don't_ come out as creepy—you know, if you really believe I was lying about stuff."

"Let's say you end up being 'creepy'… I think I'd find out soon enough, wouldn't you agree?" I nodded. "Once I found out, I'd come home, change my number, call the authorities—if warranted—and go about my business. All I would have lost is a few days and a few bucks, both of which I can spare. But look at the benefit if there's some reasonable explanation, which is what I believe even if I haven't been able to think of one yet. You and I might end up being really great together, and we'd live happily ever after—so to speak. I'm not a betting man, but I'd say this was worth the risk."

How could a guy like this—hot, built, funny, and blunt—have a name like Howard?

There was a lot for me to digest as we made our way back to La Push. Sure, Howard (I _had_ to find out his middle name or something!) was great, but our "courtship" wouldn't be normal by any means. At some point, I'd have to tell him everything, but when…and _how_? Officially, the "rules" didn't dictate what I could or could not do in this situation. Imprints were allowed to know, and nowhere was it mentioned the wolf had to have already imprinted on her—or him, as the case may be. I'd have to tell him before. I couldn't bear to have him refuse after.

"Leah? Hey, Leah, you there?"

"Huh?" I looked around, disoriented. Josh had been driving the last leg of our trip, and it appeared we had arrived home. Well, at least _his_ home.

My car was parked on Sam's driveway, the familiar house taking up the view from the passenger side window.

"Did you want to come in and grab something? It's almost dinner time."

"No, thanks for asking." As if I'd barge in there to voluntarily sit through dinner with those two. "I can drop in on my mom and Charlie." Better to talk about the baseball season with my stepfather than sit in silence with my ex and his wife.

"All right, here." Josh handed me the key and popped the trunk.

We both got out, me on my way to the driver's side and Josh headed for the trunk.

"Hey." Shit, it was Sam. Why did he have to come out? I knew he'd heard us, but you'd think the guy would have been motivated to spare himself the pain of having to make conversation.

Oh, double shit! The conversation from nearly a week ago with Josh came flooding into my mind. Sam wasn't imprinted anymore. Fuck.

"Hey." We needed to come up with better greetings than this. It made us both appear linguistically challenged.

"How was your trip?"

"Okay."

"Hey, Sam!" Josh bounded towards us with his duffle bag in hand. I will be forever grateful that _this_ one actually _got_ social cues! "Vancouver was great! You and Em should go one day. We went to Stanley Park and Robson Street. I got something for the baby, and Leah bought a bunch of new clothes. She didn't want to, but I made her try some on and–"

"He doesn't need to know about my escapades in shopping, Josh!"

"Actually, I wouldn't mind hearing about it," Sam answered. Was he chuckling? Seriously, was this a way for him to make _fun_ of me? "In fact, I came out because I wanted to see if you'd like to go grab a bite to eat."

"Sure! Sounds great, and I bet Em wouldn't mind a break from cooking. Is she–"

"I meant just me and Leah."

And that's how one would achieve absolute silence.

"I'm going over to my mom's place."

"You can call and cancel."

"She hasn't told her mom yet." Stupid, seventeen-year-old snitch!

"Emily's got something already made for you, if you don't mind staying with her for dinner, Josh."

"Not at all, I missed all of you. I'll go in and say hi to her. She'd probably appreciate a hand." The seventeen-year-old traitor took off into the house before another word could be spoken.

"I don't know what you want, Sam, but I'm not going to dinner with you. I'm trying to be civil. The least you can do is make it easy for me."

"We don't have to go for dinner. I only want to talk, in privacy."

"We have nothing to talk about."

"We have _everything_ to talk about."

"I already know."

"What do you already know?"

"About the…_imprint_."

"Josh told you?" For a moment, I saw the rage of the black wolf pass in his eyes. It had been a long time since I'd seen that. I nodded, hoping it wouldn't get Josh in too much shit. His eyes went back to the melancholy Sam I had become accustomed to. "I probably should've expected it. Josh doesn't like secrets. Anyhow, if you already know, then the conversation will be shorter. What do you say?"

Did I have a choice? If I didn't go now, he'd end up cornering me at some other time. At least this way I'd have some say in where we went, and it wouldn't be a series of shouted whispers in someone else's house.

"Fine, but you've got fifteen minutes."

"That's not long enough to eat dinner."

"You said we didn't have to eat." I pointed into the woods across the street. "In there."

I didn't wait for an answer. I ran to the cover of the trees, knowing Sam would be right behind me.

A light spatter of rain had begun to fall, and I felt my hair stick to my face and neck. The wind blew in, cooling the rising heat within me, whistling loud enough to mask my rapidly beating heart. The urge to phase hadn't been this strong in a long time.

"You have fifteen minutes, starting now!"

"Lee… I can't–"

"Ah."

His face was red; it wasn't from blushing.

"You really think that matters now?"

"Yes."

"How was your…future imprint?" He tried to sneer, but fierce envy overpowered all else.

"That's how you want to spend your fifteen minutes?"

"Sorry."

"Fourteen."

"Fuck, Leah! You're never going to give me any slack, are you?"

"I can't give you anything I don't have in me to spare."

"I'm leaving Emily."

That was unexpected. I mentally decided to give him an extra minute because I needed to use up one of his to get over the shock.

"You have a kid…and what are you going to tell her? It's not fair to her…she would've never been…if you hadn't…"

"I know. I'll take care of her and the baby, but I can't stay out of guilt. I tried, and it didn't work."

"Exactly how hard could you have tried? It's only been a few months!" That was when Embry had suddenly lost interest in finding his imprint.

"Emily's figured out most of it. She knows something's wrong, that I'm not the same. I can't keep lying to her."

"Sam, mythical spells or not, you left me for my cousin and best friend, then you scarred her face beyond recognition, and now you're going to leave her and your child? _This_, you have the ability to choose!" Could Sam have changed so much? The man I had once known, who had once loved me, could never do this… Of course, _that_ man would have never left me for Emily—or any girl. That man was dead, and this one was a stranger.

"What am I supposed to do, Lee? Go o–"

"Ah."

"Fuck!" He was shaking. "I'm trying, all right? You've got me on a time limit, let me get it out!" He was really loud, and spitting.

"Fine."

"What do you expect me to do? Emily knows the imprint broke, okay? She kept pestering me over and over again while you and Josh were away, and I finally broke! I promised myself I'd never do it, that I'd never let her know anything had changed, but I failed! All I saw was you with some…stranger… and I couldn't. I can't live this lie, not with this…" Sam moved his hand back and forth, indicating the two of us.

"With what, Sam? What do we have?"

"More than I have with Emily."

"You're not in my head anymore."

"I don't have to be to know." He took a step towards me and reached for my hand. I jerked it back. "We never needed magic, and it was so great. Is that what you want, Lee? You want magic to make you love someone?"\

"What makes you think I can't have both?"

"You liked him."

"That's none of your business."

"Yeah, it is. You're the girl I love, the one I was meant to be with, so if you're making yourself fall in love with some other guy, it's my business."

"I can't _make_ myself fall in love with anyone! No one can!"

"You can, with…him."

"Well, I'm not going to. If it happens, it's going to happen without any wolf bullshit! I'm holding out until I know he's the one for me, the human me."

"Do I get any consideration? Do you completely hate me now?"

_No, Sam, I can never hate you._

"I can't do to Emily what she did to me. Trust me, I'd love to, but not now. I'm not a monster, but it appears _you_ are! She's just recovered from cancer, Sam! Cancer!"

He ran his fingers through his hair and then balled them up into fists. It was sinking in. In our absence, he had lost sight of his obligations, of what it meant to be kind. Now he realized what he had proposed, what he had been considering. Sam had his back to me, but I knew he was weeping, and why. He had almost become his father.

Sam fell to his knees, his head resting in his hands. I walked over and put my hand on his shoulder. He reached back, his fingers gripping mine.

"Come on, let's get back. You probably upset Emily, and I have work in the morning."

It was still hard to let him go. When would this get easier? Would it _ever_ get easier?

We walked out of the trees, completely wet, to the edge of the street. We stopped to let a truck pass, and Sam took my hand, holding it tight. I let him. The truck passed, water came down in droves, and our hands held on. Across the street Emily stared back at us. Were those tears, or was it the rain? Had her face crumpled in pain, or was that a combination of scowls and scars? Her eyes immediately darted to our clasped hands before she turned and went back into the house, slamming the door behind her.

"_Emily? What were you doing out there? You're all wet!_" It was Josh. "_Are you okay?_"

"_I…I need to lie down. Can you finish feeding the baby, Josh?_"

"_Yeah, sure… Are you going to be all right? Should I get Sam?_"

"_No! I'm fine… I'll be fine as soon as I rest._"

Her steps were heavy and her breathing labored. We were on the other side of the street, walking up the front steps of the porch.

"What happened?" Josh had swung the door open. He looked from our faces down to our hands then back up. I had never seen him like that. His face…his eyes…they were filled with hate. One moment he was glaring at Sam, and the next, Sam was on his back, bleeding. "You're a fucking Uley through and through!" Josh hissed, slamming the door on us.

I began the descent down the porch steps.

"Lee! Wait!"

I turned, the rain streaming down my face.

"This is your life, Sam, not mine."

His eyes pleaded with me to stay—not just now, but later…forever. For a fleeting moment, I considered it. Maybe we could move away, somewhere far away from here, from the whispers and stares, away from judging eyes, away from my family and friends. But I needed more than Sam. I wasn't eighteen anymore.

I had a choice, like he did now, and I had made mine.

I drove out of La Push as fast as I could, getting to Port Angeles in record time. I didn't wait to get inside. The moment I cut the engine, I reached for my phone, scrolled down the list of numbers, and hit send.

"Hello?"

"It's Lee—actually, my name's Leah. I was wondering if you'd like to visit Washington next weekend?"

* * *

_As always, I love receiving reviews and appreciate each and every one!_

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_For those of you who will be participating in nominating your favorite authors and stories for the JBNP awards, I wanted to let you know that all my fics were posted AFTER June of 2011. I only began posting my first fanfic, Journey to a New Day in August of 2011. You know…in case you didn't know. :)_

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